Killing time with Dan Cross...

Leaving this blog for Twitter

2010-09-17T19:16:00.000+12:00

http://twitter.com/headsetofdeath

loyal follower you can now find me on twitter
I write on it everyday, a lot more entertaining

I Am Not Peter Helliar, I Am A Human Being!

2010-05-09T15:35:00.002+12:00

I am not Peter Helliar.
I was at a party last night and an asian girl
yelled out "Peter Helliar!" as I walked off the dance floor.

Sure, I high-fived her but deep down I felt it was fatist.

Being overweight in Melbourne, you're about
as popular as a Jew in Nazi occupied Germany.

I should have said:
"Thanks for that Poh from Masterchef!"

Hello Lauren!

2010-04-18T01:32:00.001+12:00

Pretty much everytime I've seen my friend Lauren Bamford recently she has said that she goes to check my blog

and is disappointed nothing new is up....

I've been a bit hesistant to add much to this blog, seeing as much of it was written in an incredibly manic state.

Though seems to make for good reading.

However as Lauren pointed out, I can just add stuff that I think is cool.

Anyway first I'll throw up link to my solo act Rentboy's Nocturnal Emissions e.p.

the link is here for a free download.

Hmm...

Things have been o.k so far this year, peformed a couple of solo gigs, Midnight Caller

also have a new set of songs which we can't wait to playlive.

That's enough for today....

Here's an awesome live clip of Gang of Four doing "Anthrax"

One of my favourite songs.

Fun Beatles "Facts"

2009-12-10T21:31:00.000+13:00

1. "When I'm Sixty Four" was originally sung to the tune of "You're A Dirty Whore"
2. Ringo was actually a really good looking mole that George found when
planting some dope seeds. He shaved him and taught him to count to four.
3. Brian Epstein wasn't gay he was just very neat.
4. John Lennon admitted in private that "Norweigan Wood" was about waking up with a piss-fat.
5. If you slow down all the Beatles recordings by roughly fifty percent, they sound like Barry White taking
a shit.
6. Paul McCartney. What a prick.

Nice thing about today

2009-12-02T00:25:00.001+13:00

An indian dude who'd just got off a tram gave me his tram ticket whilst I was waiting for the tram.

Some Random Observations

2009-11-27T00:32:00.000+13:00

*One of Metallica's best songs is actually a cover: "The Small Hours"
*Lily Allen should be glad she at least has a wet patch to wake up in
*Friendship is relative
* I really like the blue/red/green/black coloured pens that Bic makes but feel
they aren't as well made as they used to be.
*Sobriety has so far made me a social vegetable
*Happiness is relative
*Modern porn is far too agressive
*Sign of old age: I'm funny, except a lot of Gen Yers I've met don't get my jokes
*But I feel 15 in my head
*The crazy shit you find in asian shops, is that their normal shit?
In Asia do they shop at even crazier places for stuff or is their version of wacky stuff our normal shit?
*The Doors movie is still hilarious.Val Kilmer as Jim says at one point poetically
"Let's get tacos!"

Market Research

2009-11-25T23:56:00.001+13:00

'Dear Sir/Madam I am ringing as a random result of the needs of commerce to help produce statistical phenomena at the lower end of the strata, which will one day produce a Sexy Graph that Business Guy can bring into a meeting and flop out like so much virtual sweaty cock cheese balls.If you would like I can email you a photo of me regretting my life in the carpark during smoko'

TGIF

2009-11-20T19:29:00.001+13:00

I was just at the Woolies supermarket before in the so-called "express lane"
Person at the start of the cue had fuckloads more than fifteen items and a "I'm a middle-aged woman with 10 cards and two kids don't fuck with me" look.
Next up, minutes later, the old greek man in front of me was arguing the price of his three mangoes with the worn out looking younger checkout guy.
"Hey the boss tell you to charge more for profit aye" the greek manjibed.
I joked "The boss probably hasn't even got out of bed yet."

As he served me the checkout dude said
"Don't you love working Fridays, I'm so worn out."
"I work at a call centre" I said, "It's soul destroying"
"Yeah whereas this is more spirit crushing"
We laughed.

So much for Thank God Its Friday. Am working tomorrow, still not drinking.
As my friend Dennis says : "Get the cash"

Christmas coming up and a break from work in the interim.
I will have my first drink in months in Hobart and laugh about these horrible hot shitty work days.
Eye on the prize muthafucker.

Bass in your face Interwebs...

2009-11-08T20:18:00.002+13:00

Hello once more.
That's me in the corner providing the crowd with some bass when my
band Midnight Caller supported Flipper at the Brisbane Hotel
earlier this year.
Some excellent live recordings from this gig are on the Midnight Caller
myspace.

Currently my solo thing Rentboy has new tracks up.
I created a new hip-hop song called "This Is Rentboy"

It's my first attempt at rap. It's just talking really.

"Like Willy Wonka I’ll fill your gut,  

my guitars my pimp and my beats a slut"

I am currently finishing off the next Rentboy recording to be titled Nocturnal Emissions
which will debut in the next issue of Womans Monthly,
a zine created in Tasmania. Did I mention I grew up there?

All my older Rentboy stuff is available from Consumer Productions.

So dudes, it was so fucking hot today in Fitzroy that in my over-heated state I bought what I thought was a cheap lasagne and it turned out to be cheap chicken.
Whenever I try to beat the chicken it follows me around like a chook with its..um,whatever.

I'm going to start blogging more again as I am in fine spirits.
Speaking of which I was watching the latest Dr Who and he used the term "Blogger"
I cringed.
There is some funny old Dr Who on youtube, worth a gander.
My favourite was the Tom Baker era.
Fancy a Jelly Baby?

Casual misanthropy, deodorant and other thoughts...

2009-10-31T19:08:00.012+13:00

Hmm.
Hello there.

It's hot Melbourne weather and I have my top off as I write this.

Don't worry, no photos.

I'll leave that image to your imagination.

It's Halloween and I'm wondering if I can pull off just wearing a hawaiian t-shirt and also if I could deal with being at a party as I am currently a non-drinking casual misanthrope.

I've been unemployed the last month, thus enabling me to focus even more on the small details of everyday life.

Smells like boring everyday life...

Quicky Googling tells me deodorant has been around since 1888 but the first spray model

came out in 1965.

I have been using Nivea deodorant for a while (anagram of Naive, just like Evian, woah)

Nivea Silver Protect claims to have magicial anti-bacterial silver ions.

At my local Coles this week they had Rexona deodorant on special, so I bought one of

their fancy sport deodorants with weird names that don't actually tell you what they smell like.

I went for Rexona Quantum.

It's New.

"Proven to work at 58 degrees"

"One million molecules of protection"

Nice of the folks at Rexona to take the time to count the molecules.

I imagine some Scully like scientist finding the results and calling it in as an X-file.

So what does Rexona Quantum smell like?

It smells like deodorant..

It works but it I cannot compare thee to a rose or anything else in nature for that matter.

It's like deodorants have their own universe of smells now.

Ok so I do the whole online dictionary definition thing and quantum is defined as:

quantum [ˈkwɒntəm]n pl -ta [-tə]

1. (Physics / Atomic Physics) Physics

a. the smallest quantity of some physical property, such as energy, that a system can possess according to the quantum theory

b. a particle with such a unit of energy

2. amount or quantity, esp a specific amount

3. (often used with a negative) the least possible amount that can suffice there is not a quantum of evidence for your accusation

4. something that can be quantified or measured

5. (modifier) loosely, sudden, spectacular, or vitally important

Still doesn't explain the smell.

But the closest I can get is the definition 4. something that can be quantified or measured

So yes it can be measured, but I still can't explain what it smells like.

Better than the smell of my armpits at least.

The nozzle on the Rexona bottle has to be pressed really hard like it's a Mortein bottle.

Actualy I think this Rexona shit could also kill flies in one spray.

And spiders. And children.

Pretty sure it is also destroying the ozone layer.

Sorry about that.

Now I'm going to try and figure out why my fucking mobile phone is putting all my calls on hold.

Happy Halloween.

Shallow End...

2009-10-29T23:36:00.003+13:00

The Shallow End

There is nothing much of me

What you get is what you see

Days and nights I’m loathe to be

Living in the shallow end

Start the coffee rinse a cup

Like Neil Young I’m fucking up

There’s nothing left to teach this pup

Living in the shallow end

When I go out I feel the stench

Of every hipster, every wench

I might as well fall in a trench

Living in the shallow end

Ever met a man so rich

That he just laughs and calls you bitch?

The post modern ironic switch

Living in the shallow end

I’ve got no work I’ve got no style

I cannot think my luck is vile

My teeth so bad I’m scared to smile

Living in the shallow end

My timing is all out of whack

I keep my worries in a sack

I’m overweight so I wear black

Living in the shallow end

My reputation’s really bad

I remind you of your dad

You’re so nice it makes me sad

Living in the shallow end

I’ve medicines to keep me well

My life has been a stinking hell

Where it will end I cannot tell

Living in the shallow end

From the song on my Rentboy myspace.

To Do Lists...

2009-10-20T21:09:00.002+13:00

Today's to-do-list was go to Medicare, call Origin, Rent transfer, Do laundry.

Well, two out of four isn't bad.

Actually I slept in and recorded and mixed for about five hours.

I have a tune called "Girl On A Bike" and I wanted to revamp it.

I added about five electric guitars and feedback, new vocals and stuff.

Hopefully some friends of mine will do some backing vocals for me.

Having a break from work, due to my bi-polar getting the best of me, means I have had two awesome weeks of doing just what I want to do.

Each night I prepare a to-do-list and at least knock off a couple of things the next day.

I've cut down coffee to two cups and embraced tea-baggery.

Should have a Rentboy e.p. ready to put out in a couple of weeks.

Haven't been drunk for about two months, which makes going out to gigs
amusing and a bit weird.

I end up going home a lot earlier.

It's nice to wake up in my room as opposed to passed out on the couch with a filthy kebab.

So life isn't brilliant but I am enjoying the little things.

Funny Star Wars 9/11 Pisstake Video....

2009-10-17T15:23:00.001+13:00

A nice lazy Saturday with BBQing ahead.
Enjoy this funny Stormtrooper video!

Stormtroopers 9/11

A Non-Review of The Beatles Remasters

2009-10-15T21:11:00.003+13:00

Currently in my possession are some copies of The Beatles Remasters.

Thanks to Adam.

First of all I would like to say these are well worth purchasing.

You can buy the remastered Beatles albums separately for around $20 in

Australia

or buy the fancy box set.

Overall the albums have a lot more dynamic clarity and sound less

flat than what has previously been available.

The main thing I have noticed is a much better low end sound.

The bass and drums are a lot more present and the guitars have more zing.

Previously muffled overdubbed sound effects come through in the mix.

If you are a non-aficionado these are a great introduction,

if you are a fan then this will add some new interest and freshness.

And if you hate The Beatles, well you’ll still hate it.

I wrote a whole bunch of stuff on each Beatles album but just then my computer crashed half way through due to some kind of power surge!!!

I should be pissed off but as Harrison says "All Things Must Pass"

So with some regrets that draws this one quickly to a close!

OK so for the record, Magical Mystery tour is my fave - check it out.

Elektro The Smoking Robot

2009-10-14T16:45:00.002+13:00

Hey everybody.

It's Elektro.

This robot was real.
It was built by Westinghouse and seen by 3.7 million
at the 1939 World Fair.
It could follow twelve commands and was plugged as being the ultimate domestic
robot.
It used a 78-rpm record player to talk.
Elektro also had a vocabulary of seven-hundred words.

Hmm and obviously Elektro thought smoking was the coolest.

Beatles Remasters...Goo goo g'joob.

2009-10-13T16:56:00.002+13:00

The news that all of The Beatles albums have been remastered is very exciting.
Haven't heard any of them yet but can't wait to have a listen.

"I Am The Walrus" is one of the most aurally exciting songs of The Beatles , where the trippy lyrics
and music and weird overdubs combine to make one awesome psychedelic listen.

To hear just this Lennon song remixed for the 21st Century stereo excites me the most.

A lot of later period Beatles songs like had cool stereo panning tricks.
For example if you pan "Strawberry Fields" to the left you can just hear vocals and drums.

The remasters are being released in mono and stereo versions.

Anyway this is a good review of the Beatles' remasters.

I will post a review when I get a copy of one of these masterpieces.
Most likely the Magical Mystery Tour or Revolver.

John Lennon - ready to go for a psychedelic dive.

Google Barcode

2009-10-09T02:58:00.005+13:00

As Google often do, yesterday they changed their Google logo to fit in with an event.
Instead of having an altered Google logo at all they just had a plain barcode at the top of the Google page.
It was to commemorate the 57th anniversary of the patent of the barcode.

A barcode, yesterday...

These days we are used to seeing barcodes on virtually every product available.
I remember conspiracy stoners in when I was in college talking about a
Big Brother style future where everyone has a barcode tattoo.

Microchip tracking is currently the latest Big Brother fear .
Some parents want their children to have a chip
inserted into them for safety.
Check this out...

Banned on Myspace?

2009-10-07T10:57:00.002+13:00

So a few weeks ago on my Rentboy myspace music page,

I put up the title "Rape Me" (a Nirvana song) which actually played the

"Stuck In The Middle With You" MP3 by Bob Dylan.

At the time I thought this rather humorous lark.
Hmm.

Shortly after I received a copyright infringement notice from Myspace

which stopped the song, and then completed their online copyright education form.

I thought that would be the last of it but a check yesterday showed that

Myspace have stopped me from having any tracks on my Rentboy music page.

I have written to them this morning.

No reply yet.

Interesting to see what happens, I might have to start again and lose

my 503 myspace "friends"

Hope not!

P.S

Half an hour ago, my songs were put back up on Myspace.
Thank god for that.

Da Da Da

2009-10-07T10:44:00.000+13:00

Trio - Da Da Da

Love this song.
Just found the German language version on Youtube.

Enjoy.

Lisa Mitchell

2009-09-22T17:20:00.001+12:00

Can't believe she hasn't been signed yet!

http://www.myspace.com/lisalisamitchell

Please listen!

Aussies Should Give Muslims A Chance !

2009-09-22T03:57:00.000+12:00

"There is currently a great deal of interest in, and misunderstanding about, Australia’s Muslim communities. Muslim Australians are not a homogenous group as some media reports might lead us to believe, but make up a small, culturally diverse section of Australian society.

Over a third (36 per cent) of Muslim Australians are Australian-born, while those who have arrived here as immigrants come from all over the world—from Lebanon and Turkey to Bangladesh and Fiji. Some come from countries where women wear a burqa or a veil, most do not. And despite concerns expressed by some, many others argue that the vast majority of Muslim Australians see no conflict of loyalty between Islam and Australian citizenship."

It's usually the most opened minded Countries that get the most cake!

New Puma Commercial.

2009-09-22T03:27:00.000+12:00

New Puma Commercial.

My favourite brand of shoe.

Courtney Is A Class Act...

2009-09-22T02:50:00.000+12:00

As I mentioned earlier on, which none of you geeks probably read,
I witnessed Courtney play the other weekend.

She is on the Myspace - she's gonna be huge.

Vote for her on Triple J Unearthed.

Courtney's music reminds me of a Strawberry Milkshake.

You'll love it.

Courtney

Max Q

2009-09-21T17:45:00.001+12:00

Went to a party a few weeks ago and INXS were blaring from a PA
as people danced in eighties costumes.
Luckily I was wearing a t-shirt and suit jacket.
I couldn't get a drink because there were no glasses,
just a strawberry container with a fuckin' hole in it!

Anyway it reminded me today of Max Q.

Hutcho was obviously doing a lot of crack when they made
"Way of the World"

Listen...

Respect to Mr Hutchence, yes?
Ahead of his time with this song.

Russian around in a moshpit....

2009-09-21T11:49:00.000+12:00

This is the best version of Enter Sandman ever. Moscow September 28th 1991. The Police look like they're enjoying beating up the crowd! Metallica Rules !!!

Bill Hicks - The Funny American.

2009-09-21T03:28:00.001+12:00

Bill Hicks was ahead of his time.

Sadly he died at the age of 33 due to inoperable cancer.

Here is a much loved routine of his:

Bill Hicks RIP

He works on many levels!

Strange Michael J. Fox 80's Ad

2009-09-21T01:51:00.000+12:00

This commercial was chucked in my email in-tray.

Maybe it was the Pepsi that gave him Parkinsons?
Things that make you go "shit"

My Top 5 Videos plus 1 What the?

2009-09-21T00:45:00.001+12:00

Ooops I fucked up.

I meant to do six video clips.

This should have been at number six:

Eminem, who would never hurt a fly...
But would rap anyone under the table.

O Superman
though one of the best songs ever doesn't count as a good video

'coz it scares young people.

And me also.

In the comments on youtube, somebody has posted giant E's!!!!!

WTF!!!

"You Can Get Fucked" -- Kevin Rudd

2009-09-21T00:24:00.000+12:00

Yeah it's all a great laugh that Rudd said Fuck.

It's all over the news like a virus.

However, his fuck you in not helping the plight of the homeless, disabled and
aboriginals is not fucking funny.

At least penisoners are getting a pay rise.

Fuck you very much Kev, you've finally entered the nineties.

Now how about some respect for the underprivelidged?

I think Gillard has more compassion in her little finger and could your
job twice as better.

Not being John Howard and slightly left wing is not enough.

Some of us actually have to try and live in this idiot nightmare
of an economy!

Dream Machine, Pepsi and Music.

2009-09-20T19:05:00.000+12:00

Firstly to fix something, the actual track I uploaded was "nine pm tuesday"
Secondly I know longer drink Coke Zero.
I have Pepsi because it is weaker.

Had this mailed to me.

It doesn't work.

Some kind of dream machine.

Stadium.

2009-09-20T18:32:00.000+12:00

Track "Stadium." up now on my myspace - click on the RENTBOY link and tell your friends.

Chillaxing

2009-09-20T11:50:00.000+12:00

Chillaxing today.
Will do all my email later.
Gonna pop into the city to look at some art gallery's.
First off to Coles for a take away coffee.
Might do some video overdubbing tonight with Karl if he's up for it.

Just put up a painting of Courtney on my facebook.

She said it was "Groovy"

I haven't heard that term for ages!

Singing Sadie at Old Bar - Saturday Night

2009-09-20T01:17:00.000+12:00

Just went and saw Singing Sadie rocking the Old Bar.
The staff there make a good coke and lemonade.
The venue was packed out.

Didn't get to watch the other acts that played,
but Made For Chickens By Robots sucked balls.

As usual, Singing Sadie was in top form.
ran into some visiting Tassie friends.

Anyhow, once I saw Sadie a gig where Sadie sang and gargled at the same time whilst writhing on the floor.

True story.

A true entertainer is Sadie.

She can tap dance too.

Sadie's got the skills.

Watching her it's like 1920's style never went out of style.

My fave is "Put down the carving knife"

It's hilarious : - )

My Top Five current fave video clips!

2009-09-19T17:40:00.000+12:00

Here they are in no particular sequence:
They'll most likely change tomorrow:

Hello Dad I'm in Jail
Heart Shaped Box (director version)
Ashes to Ashes
One
Birdhouse (Literal version)

Please tell me which one you like best.

- Dan Cross.

I'm such a fucktard.that...

2009-09-19T17:06:00.000+12:00

I spent all day trying to find black spray paint for my board. In desperation I realised I could use cheap hair colour spray instead : - (
Well it did the job.
Keeping me hair blonde but.
Should have a new phone by this friday - Telstra offered me the best deal.

Horizon Purple...

2009-09-19T11:31:00.000+12:00

It's 9:36 am, 19 September (for som reason this site sets me at about a day behind)
I just bought a packet of horizon purple 50's.
Saved heaps.
It's cheap as. Now I am putting them into expensiver looking 20 packs.
Too easy mate.

I'm a 30something who has a skateboard and I don't care!

2009-09-19T09:19:00.000+12:00

I got a cheap one yesterday for $15 dollars.
It has a dragon on it.
Ross the Cool is gonna help me "Bling it up".
Because the council redid the road outside I can go up and down the street.
I will walk around with it like a briefcase,
This I swear to you guys is the truth.

Confectionary Blues

2009-09-19T03:52:00.000+12:00

The time is 2:01 am and 55 seconds.
I just emptied my black jacket pockets and I have PK Chewing gum, Whether's Original, fruity Mentos and spearmint tic tacs.
I thought the tic tacs were pink flavour but it was the plastic that was coloured that way as the money from sales goes towards breast cancer research.
It was a peppermint surprise.
A certain woman found this hilarious.
Had some cherry cokes at the Old Bar and talked to Tim from No Vacancy gallery about putting on a show with some photos/paintings.
Hopefully this will happen -
either way I'll always have plenty of sweets!

Listening to Enter Sandman and about to hit the hay.

Yeah.

Bill Hunter in the CBD

2009-09-18T15:52:00.000+12:00

No not the debt collector, the man himself.

I was having an asian Coffee on Swanston street and Aussie legend Bill Hunter
went past and he remembered meeting me in Northcote back in 2006.

Although I wasn't then he said I was his friend.

It made my day!

Didn't get any printing done but bought materials
to make t-shirts with!

Friday TGIF

2009-09-18T11:04:00.000+12:00

Gonna do some photocopying and attempt to buy a basketball.
Should be hilarious!

And the Winners are...

2009-09-18T03:16:00.000+12:00

Click in stinky links or just click on here for The Winners.

Spun out animation by my brother Pat Cross.

I did the storyboarding.

: )

More doses of Winners soon.

Well I'm the one hangin' for it.

Melbourne Rocks!!!

2009-09-18T02:32:00.001+12:00

Fuck tassie. This is where the shit is at. Melbourne knows what time it is.

The return of Rentboy...

2009-09-17T19:08:00.000+12:00

I thought frigg it Rentboy is a good name for an outfit after all this time.

Working on new stuff, old stuff is available from Consumer Productions in Tasmania.

http://www.myspace.com/rentboy2000

Check it out.

Sore throat

2009-09-17T13:29:00.000+12:00

I smoked so much yesterday that I have a sore throat
but these asian lozenges seem to be doing the trick.

My "new" art....

2009-09-16T20:30:00.000+12:00

This is a mobile phone pic of it.
1st of a Zero series.
Also Kylie fans check this out.

O Superman day?!

2009-09-16T11:27:00.000+12:00

Just got sent this:

IMPORTANT PLEASE COPY & PASTE: Today is international listen to "O Superman by Laurie Anderson day" Find eight minutes today to listen and set media player your EQ to 'jazz'

Here's the video in case you've never seen it, which I doubt!

Same Bat Time, Different Bat Channel

2009-09-16T09:13:00.000+12:00

Found this Bat Dance imitation online.
Hell funny.

Also thanks to Kendall at Centrelink, Chris at ANZ, my bro Pat, and my lovely doctors Liz and Sam for their
help yesterday.

Peace.

Dan Recommends...Top 5

2009-09-15T13:02:00.000+12:00

For those of you in Melbourne City:

1. On October 3rd at The National Gallery, the Dali Exhibition will run for 24 hours. Gonna check it out at 3am. Persistence of Time indeed. I think it's 23 bucks entry.

2. Polyester books on Brunswick Street has Dealing With Post-Human Abilities for five dollars. It's a funny Centrelink piss-take pamphlet.
A perfect gift for your job search manager or psycho flatmate.

3. Ex-Tasmanian rockers Midnight Caller. Currently writing and recording new material. Yes I play the electric bass but Pat writes all of
the tunes.
4. Macaroni and cheese single serve. For breakfast use only. Taken before sleep will induce shitty nightmares.
5. Coles Fitzroy has a coffee machine with all manner of satchels and only $2.50 it's ace.

A hundred years ago...

2009-09-15T10:19:00.000+12:00

Might check out the new Tarantino tonight.
Not much to write about beside dreams of Eminem in limbo.
Hence I am posting today one of those "This Year in History" thingies.
Put on your time travel hat kids.

Some interesting picks from 1909:
* 1st Lincoln head pennies minted
*Wright Brothers deliver 1st military plane to the army
*University of Copenhagen rejects Cook's claim that he was 1st to North Pole
*1st radio rescue at sea
*Joan of Arc declared a saint

That's all for now class.
I have so much shit to do today it's not funny.

Monday bloody monday

2009-09-14T12:32:00.000+12:00

So I am heading to Centrelink this morning to get on the dole.
Guns n Roses playing on my MP3 player.
As I get on the 109 Tram I sneeze and blood starts pissing out of my nose everywhere.
I haven't had a nose bleed for years so it freaked the shit out of me.
After about five minutes of dripping blood into a plastic bag, an old man and an Asian lady helped me with tissues and told me to tilt my head.
The blood stopped dripping after a while.

Soon after I cleaned myself up in the Centrelink toilets and wiped the blood off my camera
with a paper towel.
Kendall at Centrelink was very helpful.
But when I said it would be much easier to apply for a gun than get a dole payment he was not amused...

Clocktower.

2009-09-13T22:31:00.000+12:00

Was bored tonight so I filmed Fitzroy Town Hall Clocktower around seven.
You can hear me deep breathing Vader style as the wind blows and some purple light flows in.
Have a watch.
Turn up the volume.

All A Pile of Cheese.

2009-09-13T17:16:00.000+12:00

Hello.
Last night we all partied like 1999 but that's another story.
I'm currently listening to The Police, drinking warm coke and smoking a Champion Gold.
Today I got a discount roll $2.50 and mocha coffee from Coles cheap as chips

Went the National Gallery in the city, checking out various crucifixions whilst Eminem
blared from my MP3 player.
There was some kind of peace rally at federation square.
Boring but ran into an old friend.
Thought it was gonna rain but I only felt the one drop the whole time.

On the way back on the tram there was a large teenage girl dressed as Michael Jackson
and a girl with a silver hat and suit.
Fuck knows where they were going.
Going to see Courtney play at the Blue Tile lounge later if I can borrow ten bucks for a soda.
As Ice Cube said "It was a good day, no-one got shot"
Oh yeah last night I dreamt Johnny Cash was trying to disguise as his dead brother
for tax reasons. But no-one was fooled.
Weird shit.

Thriller in the rain

2009-09-13T09:42:00.000+12:00

I don't get people who hate rain.
A bus driver and I were chatting once and he told me that it keeps the idiots inside.
In the film Ghost Dog, there's the thing about how walking in the rain you get just as wet as running so you might as well just walk.
I don't carry an umbrella with me I just think it's a negative thing to do.
I'm just not an umbrella person.
I had one once and it turned inside out so I threw it into the river.
I have a hat now though, in case the sun comes out.

Creepy Old Style Magic Horn Cartoon

2009-09-12T12:36:00.000+12:00

Mr Piper and the Magic Horn

Bat For Lashes marry me!

2009-09-12T10:46:00.000+12:00

Please...She is a goddess.

Bat For Lashes and not just for vanity reasons, the Daniel song she does
hits me right here.

9/11 : A Shopping List...

2009-09-11T14:50:00.001+12:00

Today it is eight years since the world altering terrorist attack on the Twin Towers.
So this morning I stocked up at Coles Supermarket just in case any shit goes down again.

Here is my 9/11 shopping list receipt in order of items scanned:

COCA COLA SOFT D 1.5 LITRE
P&N DRINK 1.25 LITRE
SPC CANNED BAKED BEAN 425 GRAM x 2
HOT COFFEE CUP 1 EACH
MACRO MEATS KANGAROO PER KG
PRINGLES POTATO CHIP 190 GRAM
FARMHOUSE MILK 1 LITRE
SMART ENERGY: BLOOD O 250ML
HEINZ BIG EAT 430 GRAM
HEINZ SOUP CREAMY PUMPKIN 420 GRAM
HEINZ SOUP TOMATO 420 GRAM
ORAL B FRESH CLEAN 1 PACK
COLES TUNA TOMATO 95 GRAM
CONTINENTAL FAMILY RICE 95GRAM
PETER JACKSON 30 PACK

I was served by Vanessa.

Melbourne is Neverland to me...

2009-09-11T10:15:00.000+12:00

Being a country boy I find Melbourne to be a big free amusement park.
Getting around on Trams is a fun ride.
Federation Square has an awesome giant tv with trippy ads and weird bent buildings all around.
There are weirdo buskers and freaks of all kind and on Smith Street and you can walk down the road in your pyjamas and people barely blink at you and you wonder if you are dreaming.
I love the 7/11, the cheap food and the absurd magnificence of it all.

Two Cigarettes in the Dark

2009-09-11T04:18:00.000+12:00

Two Cigarettes in the Dark

Two, two cigarettes in the dark
He strikes a match 'til the
Spark clearly traces
One face is my sweetheart.
Two, two silhouettes in a room
Almost obscured by the gloom
We were so close yet so far apart,
It happened that I stumbled in
Upon their rendezvous.
I heard my sweetheart whispering
"I love you, I love you, you know that I do."
Two, two cigarettes in the dark,
Gone is the flame and the spark
Leaving just regrets and two cigarettes in the dark.

from 1890's-1930's song lyrics webpage.

Just went and saw District 9

2009-09-11T01:42:00.000+12:00

I absolutely give District 9 five stars out of five.
This film is the future of the science fiction action movie genre.
No Hollywood spoon feeding bullshit. Good suspension of disbelief.
Entertaining, funny and a nice amount of pathos.
Hopefully it will become a trilogy.
Don't want to give anything away but if you've seen the trailer it's still
nothing like what you will experience when you have a look.
Nice dirty looking CGI for a change.
This and Star Trek are my favourite films of the year and I'm only half a geek.

Fail!

2009-09-10T18:17:00.001+12:00

Pretty much a failure of a day.
So I went to to the Post Office to buy a new mobile.
They didn't have the model in stock. The cashier said that she was sad she couldn't get credit for the sale. So I go to the big Post Office in the city and turns out i don't have enough ID to buy the mobile anyway, after filling out some crappy form.
By this point I'm over the whole thing.
I go to Dick Smith and bulk buy some CR-s and a cable for our digital t.v because the current one is fucked. When I get home turns out it's not long enough at all.
Only good thing was I found a copy of "Tree and Leaf" by Tolkien for one dollar.
One part of the book is thoughts on fairy stories and their origins, while the second part is just a story.
I threw out the old bookmarks, lit up a fag and went home and wrote this.

Mick Molloy dreaming

2009-09-10T10:17:00.000+12:00

I just dreamt that Mick Molloy invited my brother and I back to his house after us watching him do a stand up comedy gig.
In the dream Mick still lives with his parents and my brother and I buy cheap boxes of wine and go to get some corn chips from an old lady who wants to charge us an exorbitant fee, claiming they are health products.
We decline buying the corn chips and we head back to Mick's house via Melbourne alleyways but by this time Molloy's parents are shat and we get kicked out.

My night at Horse Bazaar...

2009-09-10T03:46:00.000+12:00

Tonight I went to check out some acts playing at the Horse Bazaar in the city.
I got there early before the band started and had some coca cola. I didn't really know what to expect, having not been there for ages.

My friend Karl was there doing some spoken word with backing to promote his Horse Mania DVD. The atmosphere was very friendly. They had a live projection for most of the evening of some guy in Japan listening to the show via internet hook up.

There was free noise, a girl playing the theme from Brazil on recorder, spoken word, some theatre and a noise fuck climax. Excellent smoking area too. I'm too tired to go in to further detail, but if you're in Melbourne be sure to check out this venue.

Killing Time

2009-09-09T16:21:00.001+12:00

Hello I am Dan Cross. I am a 33 year old Cancerian. I was Born in Tasmania. I now live in Melbourne and play bass in the band Midnight Caller. I also write and record solo music. I wear leather Puma sneakers and have just dyed my hair blonde. This will be a daily blog on my life. just to kill some time...